My life used to be in such order, I new where I was going and I knew where home was and who I was going home to. Now I am not sure where my life is headed and everyday I am know I am going home to be alone....I used to have a master plan but now I feel I am simply a peasant to follow someone else's master plan. Life is hard and as we all know it is full of ups and downs, lately I have had more downs, but I am strong and confident enough to know that the ups are coming. I am sure we have all felt this way at one time or another but at the current time I feel like I am just spinning my wheels and hoping to gain some traction so I can begin to progress, I know it is coming though. Hopefully within the next year I will make a career advancement and possibly start a supplimental career teaching at my local college.
Back to my personal life though, I always beleived marriage was forever....but I got proved wrong. But I am lucky with the way my marriage came to an end because there was no drama, no traumatic experience that caused and massive uproar....the relationship just came to an end and we both realized it and therefore the split was amicable with no drama. That fact I am grateful for but it still leaves me at a crossroads.....where do I go from here?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Curtain Call.....
What would you do if today you woke knowing that it was going to be your last day to be alive? Would you sit on the end of your bed shedding tears? Or would you take your final day to celebrate the life you have lived instead of worrying about it coming to an end?
Myself, I would take the time to celebrate and hopefully have the opportunity to tell some people, who may be unaware, exactly what type of influence they had/have on my life.
There are 3 girls from my past that I have known for 17, 20, and 22 years respectively that I would want to see one last time. The girl I knew 17 years ago I simply want to sit down and talk to; I want to explain and hear her explanation. But mostly I just want to give her a hug and let her know that I have never forgotten nor will I ever. The girl from 20 years ago......I just want that one kiss that should have happened a long time ago....and to reminisce about all the good times we had. And last but so so far from least is the girl I have known for 22 years.....she has been my crush, my shoulder, and my best friend and I like to think I have been all of those to her as well. On my final day I would want to see her to make sure she knows how much I appreciate our friendship even though we are now separated by a large distance. As we parted ways on this final day I would give her a loving hug and kiss.....not a kiss of passion but of admiration for who she was, who she is, and who she will become.
My friends......there are a handful of guys that I consider to be good fiends, we have all shared some good times, crazy times and even some unfortunate sad times that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (if I had any). On my last day I would simply like to do what we have all done a million times in the past and that is to pull up a barstool and have a drink. Drinking with the guys has always been a favorite past time of mine and would love the chance to do it one last time....
Last but not least I would spend time with my family. I think all of us can say that we have never really expressed to our parents exactly what they mean to us. During my final day I would be sure to let my parents know just how much of an influence they had on my life and let them know I appreciate all they have done for me. I would spend time with my brother and his children to ensure they always remember me. But the most important part of my final day would be the time I spend with my son....for the past 5 years he has been my life, my best friend, my everything. We would go for a hike in Woodend as we have so many times before and on the way home we would stop off at McDonald's for a Happy Meal.....Chicken Nuggets, Apple Slices and Fruitopia. After the meal we would head home and spend the rest of the day and evening wrestling, playing soccer and board games.....maybe even help him with his Harry Potter PS2 game.....but my final act on my final day would be to simply crawl into bed with my son...my best friend and hold him in my arms as we both fall asleep, there is no where I would rather be during these my final moments....
If anyone ever reads this I hope you enjoyed my creative writing, but please realize this is nothing more than creative writing. Occasionally thinking about your own mortality is actually quite a liberating experience and an eye opener into your own soul. Feel free to try this exercise someday.......I look forward to furthering this blog and I hope you enjoy reading this entry as well as the many more to come..Cheers
Myself, I would take the time to celebrate and hopefully have the opportunity to tell some people, who may be unaware, exactly what type of influence they had/have on my life.
There are 3 girls from my past that I have known for 17, 20, and 22 years respectively that I would want to see one last time. The girl I knew 17 years ago I simply want to sit down and talk to; I want to explain and hear her explanation. But mostly I just want to give her a hug and let her know that I have never forgotten nor will I ever. The girl from 20 years ago......I just want that one kiss that should have happened a long time ago....and to reminisce about all the good times we had. And last but so so far from least is the girl I have known for 22 years.....she has been my crush, my shoulder, and my best friend and I like to think I have been all of those to her as well. On my final day I would want to see her to make sure she knows how much I appreciate our friendship even though we are now separated by a large distance. As we parted ways on this final day I would give her a loving hug and kiss.....not a kiss of passion but of admiration for who she was, who she is, and who she will become.
My friends......there are a handful of guys that I consider to be good fiends, we have all shared some good times, crazy times and even some unfortunate sad times that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (if I had any). On my last day I would simply like to do what we have all done a million times in the past and that is to pull up a barstool and have a drink. Drinking with the guys has always been a favorite past time of mine and would love the chance to do it one last time....
Last but not least I would spend time with my family. I think all of us can say that we have never really expressed to our parents exactly what they mean to us. During my final day I would be sure to let my parents know just how much of an influence they had on my life and let them know I appreciate all they have done for me. I would spend time with my brother and his children to ensure they always remember me. But the most important part of my final day would be the time I spend with my son....for the past 5 years he has been my life, my best friend, my everything. We would go for a hike in Woodend as we have so many times before and on the way home we would stop off at McDonald's for a Happy Meal.....Chicken Nuggets, Apple Slices and Fruitopia. After the meal we would head home and spend the rest of the day and evening wrestling, playing soccer and board games.....maybe even help him with his Harry Potter PS2 game.....but my final act on my final day would be to simply crawl into bed with my son...my best friend and hold him in my arms as we both fall asleep, there is no where I would rather be during these my final moments....
If anyone ever reads this I hope you enjoyed my creative writing, but please realize this is nothing more than creative writing. Occasionally thinking about your own mortality is actually quite a liberating experience and an eye opener into your own soul. Feel free to try this exercise someday.......I look forward to furthering this blog and I hope you enjoy reading this entry as well as the many more to come..Cheers
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